Last September, my five month old nephew suddenly past away quietly on a Sunday evening. Watching my sister-in-law and (then) husband deal with this pain immediately after his death and in the months following have been very painful. It is very hard to see people that upset. I have a hard time dealing with it, because there is nothing I can do to make it stop.
Being at Joel's funeral yesterday, he was 31, ex Marine, and great all around person, was extremely difficult. The tears that his wife shed are the same tears that my sister-in-law shed last September. It is the most sad and painful tears that a person can shed...that sound will never leave me as long as I live...true sadness and ultimate hurt.
As I was thinking during the service, the worst thing that could happen to somebody is the loss of a child. I've seen it and it cannot get any more horrible than that. No person should ever have to endure what my sister and brother-in-law had to, and continue to go through. A very close second to losing a child, is losing your spouse in the manner that Joel's wife lost hers. Sitting here writing this now...let's just say it's very tough.
I then tried to put these events into some perspective. There must be a reason these things happen to people. I cannot sit here and tell you what that reason is, but I am completely convinced that some day we will find out why.
Carson and Joel, good luck on your journey, we will all see you when our call comes.
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I agree that there is a reason, but I also believe that when tragedies this horrible effect the same people over and over it is not a reason that we, as humans, are able to understand. I have a long list of questions that God better plan on answering when I stand before him one day.
ReplyDeleteMy brother is dating your sister-in-law and let me tell you, I truly think that God has brought the two of them together. I am not sure if you are aware of this or not, but our family has gone through some extremely senseless and tragic events of our own over the past few years. Her son, Carson, passed away on my birthday in September. My son passed away in September of 2001 at the age of 14. My son, Andrew, was a perfectly healthy, happy 14 year old freshman football player. Barely ever sick and a really good kid. He died from encephalitis caused by a mosquito bite. Talk about senseless!!
About two years later we discovered that my father-in-law had been molesting my daughter. She was 9 years old when she told us. He started when we had been leaving the kids with them so that we could find a burial plot, pick out a casket and all the other things you have to do to bury a child. He is now serving 25 to life in prison.
Then in July of 2006 our youngest brother, at the age of 35(on his birthday),commited suicide. I guess he just decided that life was just to hard. Sometimes I can hardly blame him. He was Andrew's Godfather and his death hit him very hard. I am not sure he ever fully recovered.
We have met Wendy, they stayed with us in November. I was able to talk to her a little about our shared tragedy. I agree that the worst thing in the world is losing a child. Nothing compares. It does not matter what the age, parents are not supposed to outlive their children. My brother is so sensitive to this. He and I have had many talks and I have cautioned him that although he knows the pain of losing his nephew, it is still different when it is your child. Your sister-in-law is a beautiful person, inside and out. I don't know why her or I were chosen to lose our children, but I do know that neither of us will ever forget them and the pain that losing them feels like.
I am praying for your family through this difficult and senseless tragedy.